Why Am I Like This? What High-Functioning Anxiety Really Feels Like (and Why Therapy Can Help)
High-functioning anxiety can leave you feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, and disconnected, without any clarity as to why you might be feelings this way. You know that something is wrong, yet everything seems like it should be fine. This post breaks down the subtle signs you might be silently struggling, why it can feel so hard to just be okay, and what actually helps. If you’re tired of pretending, this is for you.
On the outside, you’re doing okay.
You’re showing up at work, you’re a supportive friend or partner, you’re trying to take care of yourself. But inside, your thoughts are racing. You’re constantly second-guessing yourself, replaying conversations, worrying about things that haven’t even happened yet—and honestly? You’re exhausted.
If this sounds familiar, you might be struggling with something called high-functioning anxiety—and you’re not alone.
You Don’t Have to Be Falling Apart to Need Help
Many of the women I work with come to therapy feeling like they’re not “anxious enough” to justify it. They might say things like:
I’m just being dramatic
Other people have it worse
I should be able to handle this on my own
But anxiety doesn’t always look like panic attacks or visible distress. Sometimes it looks like perfectionism. Or people-pleasing. Or needing constant reassurance in your relationship. Or never feeling like you’re doing enough, no matter how much you accomplish.
You may be great at functioning. But you’re not really living.
So What’s Really Going On?
If you’re feeling stuck in a cycle of self-doubt, intrusive thoughts, overthinking, or relationship worry—it’s not a personal flaw. It’s your nervous system trying to protect you, but doing it in a way that backfires.
Many of us were never taught how to tolerate uncertainty, regulate anxiety, or trust ourselves. Instead, we over-function, overanalyze, and overextend, until we hit a wall.
Therapy helps you slow that cycle down. It gives you tools, perspective, and a place to be real about what’s actually going on under the surface.
You Don’t Need to “Fix” Yourself—You Just Need Support
Here’s the thing: you’re not broken. You’re human. And you’re probably trying to do life with an anxious brain that’s working overtime.
In therapy, we focus on:
Understanding the roots of your anxiety and how it shows up
Interrupting thought spirals and building trust in your own mind
Learning to set boundaries without guilt
Exploring perfectionism, self-worth, and identity
Reclaiming space in your life for rest, joy, and actual living
This Is Your Sign to Stop Going It Alone
If you’ve been stuck in your head, overwhelmed, or wondering if therapy might help—you don’t have to figure it out by yourself anymore.
I work with high-achieving, anxious women both in-person in Santa Barbara and virtually throughout California. If you’re ready to stop feeling like you’re just barely keeping it together and start feeling like yourself again, let’s talk.
