Why Anxiety Makes It So Hard to Sleep (And What Actually Helps)
You’re exhausted. You want to sleep. But the second your head hits the pillow, your brain turns on: racing through worries, replaying conversations, or spiraling into “what ifs.” Sound familiar?
If you struggle with anxiety and sleep, you're not alone. Many of my clients describe feeling totally drained but unable to rest. The frustrating part? It’s not just in your head. It’s in your nervous system.
Why Anxiety Keeps You Awake
Anxiety is your body’s way of saying, “something’s not right.” Whether there's a clear stressor or a more generalized sense of unease, your nervous system gets activated when your brain sense that something isn’t safe. Warnings from your amygdala (a small almond shaped structure in your brain’s temporal lobe) trigger the fight-or-flight response, which floods your body with cortisol and adrenaline—the exact chemicals that are meant to keep you alert, not relaxed.
This can be helpful when you need to give a presentation, tackle an urgent task, or attend to something important. It is less helpful when you are trying to wind down for the night.
If you are struggling with anxiety, your body is coursing with energy to have you do something. Which is depleting and exhausting; likely making you feel like all you want to do is sleep. However, the second you try, your brain clocks that, no matter how tired you are, it is not safe to rest, keeping you awake and agitated. Even if you do fall asleep, your brain may jolt you awake after only a few hours, alerting you that something is still wrong, and that if you sleep for “too long” something bad might happen.
Even if you feel completely depleted, your anxiety and stress sustain signals in your brain that say that you're not safe to rest. In addition, over time, this leads to a pattern where your body associates bedtime with problem-solving, worry, and alertness. And if left without the right support, you can actually teach your brain not sleep, which can lead to insomnia.
The 2 Types of Anxiety That Affect Sleep
You know exactly what you're anxious about.
Maybe it's a deadline, a conversation, or something unresolved. You lie in bed trying to think it through—convincing yourself you'll sleep once you’ve “solved it.”You can't pinpoint what's wrong.
You feel unsettled, wired, or uncomfortable—but there’s no obvious cause. This can feel even more confusing and hard to manage.
In both cases, the common mistake is trying to think your way out of it in bed. The more you try to rationalize or control the anxiety while lying down, the more your brain starts to believe that bed = stress, not sleep. Over time, this reinforces sleep problems.
6 Natural Ways to Calm Anxiety and Improve Sleep
If you are struggling with anxiety and stress, which is making it hard to sleep, here a few simple, low-cost techniques I recommend to clients who want to calm their minds and get to bed:
1. Only go to bed when you're actually tired.
Don’t climb into bed just because it’s “time.” Wait until your body is truly sleepy. If you can’t fall asleep within 15 minutes, get up. Go sit some place else in your room, or go into another room entirely. You can read, do a puzzle, draw, but try to keep the lights low. Return to bed only when you’re feeling drowsy again. This helps your brain re-learn that bed = sleep.
2. Stop looking at screens an hour before you want to fall asleep (or at least try to watch or read something calming)
Most of us know that we should try to not look at screens before going to sleep (and not doing so right when we wake up is also good). However, this is way easier said and done.
I know. For most adults, it isn’t actually the light from screens that keeps you up, but rather the content that you are consuming. Much of what you are likely consuming at night, the TV shows or social media posts, want to grab your attention. Such content is both emotionally activating and stimulating your dopamine, two things that keep you up and make it harder to go to sleep. To get better sleep, keep this in mind and try to stay off your phone.
3. Do a brain dump.
Take 15 minutes to write everything you’re thinking or worrying about. No filtering. Let it be messy, stream-of-consciousness style. Getting the thoughts out of your head and onto paper can reduce mental tension and rumination.
4. Use up your anxious energy.
Normally, it’s not recommended to do high intensity exercises right before going to sleep. But for those struggling with anxiety, this wisdom does not apply to you. Stress and anxiety cause your body to be flooded with activation that has nowhere to go. Instead of yoga or stretches (which can help, but might not be as effective) try doing 50 jumping jacks or a few burpees. While possibly a little miserable, this helps discharge adrenaline and settle the nervous system in a way few other things do.
5. Practice intentional breathing.
Breathing can feel like the last thing you want to do when you are struggling with stress and anxiety. Especially as anxiety is one of the best debaters, and will often immediately pipe up to remind you that you are already breathing, so there is no way that doing a breathing exercise is going to help. But the important part of breathing exercises is doing them intentionally. Techniques like box breathing (inhale 4, hold 4, exhale 4, hold 4) can be particularly effective, as they help us breath purposefully, while also slowing our breaths. Doing so signals to your brain that you are safe. Additionally, having the autonomy over your breathing is a luxury that is not afforded in moments of crisis, and your brain knows this.
6. Try guided imagery.
Visualize a peaceful scene and tell your mind what you want it to think about. When our brain is going a million miles a minute, all we usually want is a blissful second to think about nothing. However, to move away from one kind of thinking, the only way to get to nothing, is to replace it with a different kind of thinking. Task your mind with imaging a calming space, where you can just be: a beach, a quiet forest, etc. If you are struggling with rumination (thinking about the same thing over and over) here is my favorite imaginal exercise.
Imagine yourself standing on a beach, in front of you is the ocean with the horizon in the distance, in the surf you see a small row boat. Take whatever it is you can’t stop thinking about, or even your anxiety and stress, and stick it in that boat. Now, imagine that boat getting blown out to sea and pushed all the way past the horizon, until you can no longer see it at all. Then, when the worry, thought, or anxiety comes back, which it will, imagine the sea and the boat and do the exercise all over again. Do it however many times you want.
Ready to Feel Rested Again?
Struggling with sleep doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means your body is doing exactly what it’s wired to do: protect you. The problem is, it’s stuck in protection mode when you need rest.
The goal isn’t to force sleep. It’s to help your body and brain feel safe enough to let go.
If this feels familiar, and you’re tired of trying to “power through,” therapy can help you retrain your nervous system, understand the deeper patterns behind your anxiety, and finally start getting you the rest you need.
Learn more or schedule a free consult to see how therapy with me can help you sleep better today.
